Touché. He was right. After two years of doing a relationship dance with a man who really liked to switch partners, I had to stop blaming him for my unhappiness and look myself in the mirror. Why was I perpetuating this high-octane but unsatisfying partnership? Addicted to bad boys? Low self-esteem?
In the end, I could see that my pattern of stormy relationships was driven by the idea that change would one day get me what I desired. While my ex preferred to exchange the people he was with to satisfy his restless heart, I attempted to change my partners’ behaviors to make them conform to my romantic ideals. Neither of us was finding love, which prompted the question:
Was it change we needed or transformation?
Gandhi wrote, “As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. … We need not wait to see what others do.” For me, Gandhi’s words describe the power of transformation. Once I stopped trying to fix other people and began working on myself, those around me – from romantic partners to friends to business colleagues – began to transform. As I filled the wounds in my heart with a steady stream of love, my experience of life changed completely: I met the love of my life; I reinvented my relationship with my mother. I aligned my business with my passions; I started to live my life with joy.
We’ve just passed Valentine’s Day, the one day each year when we collectively celebrate relationships and the power of love to transform our lives. Why not transform other aspects of our lives with love as well?
Are you willing to embrace love as a daily practice? If so, you might ask yourself:
What would I do differently at work or in my business if I loved and accepted myself completely?
What interests would I embrace or what would I create if I asked myself, “What are the most loving ways I can share my gifts with the world today?”
How would I approach my daily conversations if I chose to let love flow through every interaction?
What would my goals look like if they were oriented towards loving the world completely?
In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, let’s leave no aspect of life unloved.
Through all that we encounter and everything that exists . . .
May we all be Love.